Wow, that can be a little scary.
I mean, who’s truth?
I am quick with the ‘truths’ I see in you, what you might change, how you might be better, do better… blah… blah.
But what is that saying about me? Do I have the courage to sit with the reflection of what I see or say?
Am I willing to recognize myself in that person, at that moment?
Can I do anything to change it?
Just for the record, reflection, as I’m using it, is not a denigration of self. It is the capacity to see oneself without judgement. Accountability strengthens me.
And the funny (not haha) thing is that a split-second emotional reaction can be the buzzing neon sign pointing out a thing I could learn about Me. If I’m fixated on you, well, I’m wasting the precious time and energy I could be using in this life to grow.
Accountability is the thing that tills my inner soil. With newly turned soil I am able to feel the seeds of mis-guided projections and perceptions sown in my long ago past. Today one of them broke through.
As her metaphorical little green head crested through a crack in my heart, I couldn’t deny her any longer. I had to accept the truth that something I said to someone wasn’t in my integrity.
Where did it come from? This was mine, not theirs. Their role had nothing to do with my reaction. I tussled with that for a second or two, then… I got it. This is my dirty porch to sweep, no one else’s.
Yep, telling the truth to myself can be the hardest of all.
I would have to admit to my smallness, my fears, my hidden agendas in the presence of the one being judged, into whose life I had inserted my opinion, who’s personal authority I may have knee-capped. Whoa, scary stuff.
And yet, accountability is the only road left for me to walk. As I write, feelings of tenderness and self-acceptance are settling in. Baby steps. Growth, I remind myself, happens when one is ready.
Today I was ready.
Grabbing up my phone, I called. Truth seemed to envelop us through the vibratory frequency of intention. I owned my behavior. We were both able to speak of our fears, realize our very human silliness, share a chuckle, let it all go, and start over.
My actions have added a new layer of conscious understanding, while my words have given new direction to the unfolding trajectory of my life.
Whew! Truth seems to be the best-lit path home.
Let your heart teach your thoughts to speak the words that reveal your authentic truth.
Sweet mystery!
This essence of you reverberates into infinity.
In service to truth,
Tryshe